The Year of Gathering
New Year’s resolutions need not be goals of self-improvement. For me, they were to give myself permission to do things I might not make time for. I needed guardrails to help me prioritize taking care of myself as much as I need structures to help move me forward.
As I have gotten older, I have converted this practice from a specific challenge to a theme for the year. They remind me to center something important to me, to give it the time it deserves. It’s also an invitation for me to talk about it. We are encouraged to talk about resolutions to build accountabillty. I talk about my themes as an invitation for you to consider how you prioritize your own values.
My first theme was The Year of Fun. 2024 was my Year of Joy. I chose to find new loves, like piano and sailing. I dropped “shoulds” from my life and my calendar. I explored my own interests and passions with a spirit of endless possibility. While I went into it with a spirit of freedom, I found new sources of joy that I hadn’t even known to look for. It renewed my faith in Philadelphia as the home of brotherly love and sisterly affection.
In the course of that year, I created many new spaces with new people. I was shocked by how often, in an ad hoc gathering, people would say, “when are we doing this again?” or “well, when we meet next time….” There was a clear hunger for gathering.
I am one of the hungry people. True fact: I love to bring people together! But it’s one of those things that’s easy to talk myself out of. So this year has been made my Year of Gathering.
Gathering is more than a dinner party, or a little treat I want for myself. It’s something that I think is critical to both personal happiness and the functioning of society. So this is not a commitment to get my friends together more often (though I will.) I’m actively working to build up gathering structures with other people, to infuse groups that already gather with new members, and encourage those who are on the sidelines to jump in. (If you feel like you’re one of those people or groups, let’s talk.)
There is an alchemy to great gatherings. For single gatherings, The Art of Gathering is a masterpiece, a book that you will want to press into the hands of every organizer, from your weekly staff meeting to the host of your Thanksgiving of choice. Transforming the magic of a single gathering into something life-changing seems to require frequency. A single stitch won’t do anything, but rows transform flat cloth into clothing. We need repeated connection to build something new.
Try these ideas to tap your own optimism:
Name a theme for your year. What’s something that reflects your values or priorities?
Plan a small gathering to connect with others meaningfully, even virtually or in informal settings.
Experiment with letting go of "shoulds".
Create space for joy and self-discovery. How can you add something to your week that’s just for you?